SELENA

I cleaned up the highway by throttling the engine aflame
Surpassing my memories trying to flee in a blast,
I'm scudding inside of my mind to the radiant frame,
A door into summer that stays a remain of the past,

A twinkling rectangle of light, a connection to happiness, where
Is ever the way leading out of the darkness I've done?
"There's no return as you enter the Land of Nowhere" -
Was carved on the outer side of the door on my run.

The clouds of indifferent creatures, they swallow my call,
These birds never sing mesmerized in the infinite flow,
Ensign of this place is the snow in summer to fall
And stars that are fading at night when the wind stops to blow.

The spill of the lassitude emptied the wish to retrieve
The vision of past buried down in the littoral foam,
Acquire what I cry as I've seen you could stand it alive
When felt for my soul in the haze of inferno to roam

Where time is entwined with the horror that came from above,
And never awakes from the clasp of a suicide dream,
Where beauty has vanished away from the place of my love
And time once has stopped in the matter of sacrament beam.

The sun never shines in the thicket of loss where my cries
Apply to the state that is grown of illusion and damn,
I reached it again but what do I need in the skies
If nothing else matters and no-one can get where I am?

I'm sitting in silence while nothingness sinks in a deep
Of dying subconsciousness lost in the sea of despair
Afraid of the things that appear from its depth if to strip
The core of our memory locked by the feelings unfair,

The metal of rain comes to pour all day on the shore
And splashes of scale start to jump on the layer of sense
That's melting to fluid in fitful attempt to restore
The drops of my life boiling off in a desperate dance.

The flashes transparent, they squirt in the riddle of rhymes:
With sorrow I try to re-enter the game but in vain,
The self-demonstration is cracked for the end of all times
And sources of matter are never attracted again,

The afterlife bells chime the day I've to kiss'em good-bye
Demanding the quant from my colorful energy tray,
Down in the depth of the gray they invite me to die,
They long for my time but there's nothing that's left of today.

                                       Phyl Tou, 1997 Jan 16